Entertainment

Mr. T once heard that you cant spit on supermans cape, so he decided to try it. When he found superman though, he told him it was still in the wash from the day before when Mr. T used it as toilet paper.

One night Mr. T took a 9 p.m. train home. He still wont give it back.

Mr. T can walk on water and fire, but he prefers to walk on fools.

Things with more mass have more gravity. Therefore the majority of the universe is attracted to Mr. T's gold chains. They are kept in equalibrium however, due to the fact that everthing is afraid to get close to Mr. T.

The devil sold his soul to Mr. T.

Shanghai Preparing for 'Human Zoo' Thu May 11, 6:01 PM ET

SHANGHAI, China - Shanghai is getting set to open a "human zoo."

Four Australian men will live in a glass box on a downtown mall for two weeks in June, with the public able to watch them sleeping, eating and bathing, a news report said Thursday.

The group, known as the Urban Dream Capsule, has drawn crowds with similar displays in London, Montreal, Hong Kong and other cities.

"They won't turn off the lights or pull down the curtains. They show their whole life, from getting up to going to bed," Karen Chang, the event's organizer, told the Shanghai Daily newspaper.

Sopranos star in scooter crash

15:08 Thursday May 4th 2006

Sopranos star James Gandolfini was knocked off his scooter when he collided with a cab in New York, according to reports.

The actor, who plays mob boss Tony Soprano in the hit series, apparently lay dazed and confused in the street for a few minutes after being clipped by the taxi and coming off his Vespa in SoHo.

``He was shaken up,'' eyewitness Jason O'Malley told the New York Post.

``A couple of guys helped him off the ground and picked up his bike.''

Gandolfini reportedly told people in the crowd which gathered after the incident yesterday morning: ``I'm all right.''

Rock 'failure' hires a plane to bring fans on world tour

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SINGER John Otway has hired an airliner to realise his dream of a world tour.

After two chart hits a quarter of a century apart - 'Really Free' in 1977 and 'Bunsen Burner' in 2002 - the 53-year-old has paid a €90,000 deposit for an Airbus A340 in the belief that 240 fans will fork out €6,000 each to go with him or take individual legs of the "Ot-Air" trip for almost €3,000 apiece.

In all, the plane will cost €1m, but Otway, who called his autobiography 'Rock 'n' Roll's Greatest Failure', has built a large cult following through endless tours and self-deprecating humour. And he said 120 fans had so far signed up.

Drink Driving

Only a Paddy could pull this one off!

From the State where drink driving is considered a sport, comes a true
story
from Carrick-on-suir Ireland.

Recently a routine Gardai patrol parked outside a local neighbourhood
tavern.
Late in the evening the Garda noticed a man leaving the bar so
intoxicated
that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the Garda
quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the
man
managed to find his car which he fell into.
He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the

MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer
for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold
out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

KEN Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen
Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World