The Dubfly

From www.hoganstand.com

Nature lovers...
A word of note on the Dubfly which is particularly prevalent at this time of year. This creature comes out of hibernation at the end of the English Soccer Season and having gorged itself on "points and One and Ones" swells and grows and struts about the capital city.
Great swarms return to nest on the same small hill each year. Aggressive grunting (may be mistaken for chanting) noises are made toward any "intruder" to their nesting area. Luckily the Dubfly is not known for its migratory abilities and tends to lose all sense of direction west of the M50 toll bridge. Authorities have adopted a placatory stance and appease it by ensuring it never has to fly too often.
Its easily indentifiable by its light blue colouring, its loud braying noise, particularly when in close proximity to other Dubflies and its tendency to point at its bright plumage of 25 Feathers in its cap. (Please don’t antagonise it by pointing out that most of these were grown when the world moved by bicycle, most country areas were deserted & God had acne and an attitude)
Some very rare Dubflies are capable of recognising up to 7 or even 8 members of its own team and even have a passing knowledge of opponents. But this is more the exception than the rule.
Its main predator was once the Greater Spotted PaudieOsheaIcus Animulus but it now simply withers and fades with the advent of late July or early August. At this stage it will have long since flown from the playing field before slowly metamorphosing into a vibrant reddish hue and can then be heard making curious mating calls to its fellow Dubfly. A distinct "Pool Pool ManYoo ManYoo Gooners Gooners" wail can be heard most Weekends around the capital’s waterholes at this period.
If atall threatened by it its best thought waving a hurl in its direction or shouting "Mick Lyons" loudly will cause it to become confused and disoriented.

As Brian Mullins says "You're only a Culchie!"

Irishasians, my house is infested with Dubflies!!! And none the hurls or Mick Lyons chanting seems to be doing any good. Anyone any hints on getting rid of the pesky shaggers???

When all beside a vigil keep,
The West's asleep, the West's asleep -
Alas! and well may Erin weep
When Connacht lies in slumber deep.
There lake and plain smile fair and free,
'Mid rocks their guardian chivalry.
Sing, Oh ! let man learn liberty
From crashing wind and lashing sea.

That chainless wave and lovely land
Freedom and nationhood demand;
Be sure the great God never planned
For slumb'ring slaves a home so grand.
And long a brave and haughty race
Honoured and sentinelled the place.
Sing, Oh! not even their sons' disgrace
Can quite destroy their glory's trace.

For often, in O'Connor's van,
To triumph dashed each Connacht clan.
And fleet as deer the Normans ran
Thro' Corrsliabh Pass and Ardrahan;
And later times saw deeds as brave,
And glory guards Clanricard's grave,
Sing, Oh! they died their land to save
At Aughrim's slopes and Shannon's wave.

And if, when all a vigil keep,
The West's asleep! the West's asleep!
Alas! and well may Erin weep
That Connacht lies in slumber deep.
But, hark! a voice like thunder spake,
The West's awake! the West's awake!
Sing, Oh! hurrah! let England quake,
We'll watch till death for Erin's sake.